how do i get my ISP to change my AIM connections so i can connect with having to be logged on th AOL?

Answer:

AOL Instand Messenger (AIM) works by using the internet - unless AOL changed it recently, AIM doesn't care whether you are connected using an ISP or AOL.

However, if you are not online, and then you start AIM - AIM -will- cause Windows to use your "default" ISP to connect to the internet (which I would assume is AOL).

The place that controls this choice can be found by starting Internet Explorer (the big blue E program)... then click on Tools / Internet Options / Connections...

Select the ISP name instead of AOL, and click on Set Default.

Now you may still have an issue when you want to access "AOL only" content like chat rooms or special Time Warner concert material, for instance. The long term fix for this is to add a second "Location" to the AOL startup screen, and specify "Use TCP/IP Connection" for the phone number / network and then save the new location. The wording may vary a tiny bit depending on which version of AOL you're using.

Having set up a network based connection in AOL and made your ISP the default, when you try to connect to AOL (or AIM), it should connect to your ISP's access number, and then access AOL using the ISP connection. It's quite probable that your access to AOL will actually be faster than dialing AOL directly (for a number of technical reasons).

Once you are comfortable with connecting this way, you can consider switching to AOL's bring your own access plan (keyword: BYOA)....that reduces your cost to AOL and lets you continue to access their content if that's important. (just don't use an AOL number from that point on, as it carries a really steep $2.50 per hour charge with no monthly cap)